Blog Archive

I can’t believe it’s been a month since I last posted. Here I thought I had enough depth and insight and words to post at least weekly if not more. But I’m tired. 

It’s a physical and a mental thing. Right? It’s not about getting more sleep, though my body feels drained.

It about being tired of not having enough time to exercise, and at the same time I’m tired of wanting for more time to sit still.

I’m tired of comparing my life to others. And that’s not about wishing I had more or better, though there’s that too. I’m tired or comparing my children to others, when mine are perfect they way they are. I’m tired of walking into a friend’s house and thinking her house is cleaner, or her couch is uglier, or of noticing her cobwebs are in the same corners as mine.

I’m tired of not having enough money while at the same time constantly working and plotting and worrying about how to get more.  I’m tired of wanting to have to have more.

I’m tired of the arguing and the having to try to make it work. And, I’m tired of thinking that I might someday, for some reason, have to do it by myself.

I’m tired because of my children, and of the not doing enough for my children.

I’m tired of the to-do lists, and I’m tired of not getting it all done.

I’m tired of the repetition … of the laundry, of the dishes, of the kitchen floor that’s never clean and of the counter that’s never free of crumbs.  

I’m tired of thinking that there’s something better out there, or feeling like I’ve failed myself, like I’ll never be what I was supposed to be, and of being someday forgotten.

I’m tired of feeling old, and being overweight, and of caring that people are noticing both.

I’m tired the trying to make it all seem simple and easy and effortless.

And I guess, most of all, I’m tired of asking … what if?  

In the least, I might have fodder for my next posting.

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September 5, 2009

Here I go ...

It’s my first blog on my first blog.  Oh sure, I’ve had a string of web sites in the past. Who hasn’t? Some long term, some stagnant, some abandoned. But I’ve yet to scribe in an ongoing nature in the space of the open web, so to speak.  

I feel it’s time. I feel I have to. I feel like if I don’t, then someone else will, and I’m tired of being undone, underestimated and remaining unheard.

So, here I am. Confirming to you -- and myself -- that I will express by written word to the best of my ability; that I will exercise my best judgment, sharpest intuition and growing intelligence with every keystroke; and that I will commit to consistency, relevance and an occasional attempt at humor.

And, being that I’m this kind of person, I’m going to lay down a few rules for myself (and for you who may eventually read this) on the what and how of this site.  Here’s what I’m thinking … of course, subject to change at my slightest whim:

1. If I think it, I will share it.  That’s the point, right. I’m here because I think there are women out there may feel the same way and need a cerebral cohort and/or counselor.
2. While my opinions may be pointed, I will remain constructive in my comments. I received good advice once which I try to apply daily … don’t bring a problem to the table without a solution. The world’s full of complainers; I’ll try hard to avoid joining their ranks.

That’s it. Here I go. Wish me luck!